The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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