just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
