i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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