It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
My vagina is officially offended.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
