im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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