I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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