I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
