you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
