I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
