drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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