He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
