ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
