Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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