You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
