hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
barbara walters just said penis...
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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