PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Randomize
