So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
