dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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