Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
