He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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