The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize
