We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
