Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
well I can't set my house on fire every night
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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