yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
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