Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
This is the prime rib incident all over again
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
