I think i sorta joined a cult last night
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
