I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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