Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
another moral hangover. fuck.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
