'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
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