3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
