Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
