i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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