I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
