I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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