well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
