Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
