My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
