Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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