Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
You need a sexual gate keeper
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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