So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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