EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
