We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize