yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
