You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
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