Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
MIDGETS
????
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
