It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
