well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Randomize
