what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Randomize
