Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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