i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
