I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize