She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
