That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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