I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Randomize
