Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize