you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
